Although each case is unique,
over time and cases, a mediator encounters similar issues, which, in my
experience include:
·
Anger by one parent towards the other or between both of
them which significantly taints a negotiation and detrimentally impacts
agreement on reaching a child parenting plan.
·
A loss of control over the way the other parent views a
child’s needs. An example is sports versus other activities. Even more serious are issues over the
differences in the child’s environment when with the other, who a child may be
left with or even the presence of people, like a new significant other for the
other parent.
·
The view of grandparents or others with whom, when they
were a twosome, were very friendly versus the relationship now existing when the
two parents are separated. At times
those former relationships endure and both parents and the child benefit or they
become distressing if not destructive thereby impacting a child.
·
The role of a child in decision making not only about
themselves but also with regards to the parents. For example,
Child: “Daddy I want to
stay with you one more night. Can I?”
Dad: “Ask your mommy and
if she says it’s ok you can.”
Mom: “Why is Dad passing
the buck, the answer is no.”
Or
Child: “I don’t want to
stay with …”
Mom: “ I understand how
you feel and here’s what we’ll do …”
Later, a Disagreeing Dad:
“I can’t believe you did that you $%&^.”
It’s sad when a parenting
plan falls apart because of any single or combination of the above issues become
impasse driving demands by one parent of another unwilling parent. Finding no
easy answers results in either giving up by the parents or in a lot of time
dealing with each of the issues and resolving each problem, one at a time. It
does become a lengthy process. At times resolution follows or impasse continues
to the court house steps, trial, and into the future until it boils over yet
again. “Best interest of the child”?
