I don’t know about your community but voluntary mediation is still relatively underutilized in the context of preventing, avoiding, and resolving conflict. We’re certainly short of being a resolution culture. Instead according to some commentators we’re a litigious culture deferring choice to others than just between opponents. If we agree we need to turn things around then we’re probably talking in turns of generations and a good place to start is with youth and the way they view the world.  Amongst the youth there’s a small group in our schools who might hold a promise towards a resolution culture.

In Hawaii we call teens involved in mediation at their schools “peer mediators”. These dedicated individuals and their faculty mentors can become ambassadors for preventing, avoiding, and resolving conflicts amongst their peers.

In 2008 we featured peer mediators in our ACR Conflict Resolution Day celebration in Honolulu. The video we produced for Hawaii’s Olelo Community Television is available at http://www.olelo.org/whatson_web.htm (click on education and youth and scroll down to (Conflict Resolution Day: Ep - 1 Conflict Resolution Day Celebration 2008)) (in addition our program on Teen Conflict is also listed (Avoiding, Preventing, Resolving Conflict: Ep - 1 Voluntary Mediation Team Conflict (sorry for the misspelling of Teen)). Between these two episodes you can start to get an idea about what peer mediators do and how parents can help avoid and prevent conflict.

It is my understanding that peer mediation, as it exists, has received mixed reviews and it has not spread to the degree initiators of the programs have hoped[1]. The way I read the commentary is that peer mediators are limited to dealing with very limited issues and that troubled teens can effectively manipulate the processes or live under the radar until they explode. I think that raise the question whether it is beyond the limits of the programs and the teens involved to expand the reach of mediation into prevention and avoidance. As in my own estimation and experience with my own kids adults tend to underestimate the capacity of youth I do not agree we cannot do better with peer mediators. But our efforts have to reach out not only to the practitioners but also the school body and there we can do a tremendous amount more, it’s a priority,capacity and developmental challenge.

In moving the field forward we have to refocus a lot of our efforts in developing a resolution culture amongst our youth. If we do this the next adult generation is going to have a much greater readiness to adopt avoiding, preventing, resolving conflict in their adult lives by exercising the choice available in mediation, facilitation, and assisted negotiation. The challenge is in revitalizing peer mediation programs where they exist, expanding them more broadly and moving towards the next generation of processes for use by our youth. Where are the champions to support this cause. Just to be ridiculously simple, does anyone know of a single “celebrity” with influence on the opinion of our yout who’s championing a resolution culture? Are there efforts to define what a resolution culture even means in terms our youth can understand?

Here are my thoughts on steps which can be taken.

·         Our kids are steeped in “media” (be it tv, video, social media, internet, web games, etc.). Create space in these media, in an entertaining way, by which to attract youth to collaborate.

·         If it isn’t already expand training on preventing, avoiding, resolving conflict to the, you get “credit” level with additional credit for participation as a peer mediator.

·         Consider expanding the program to include parents or guardians. When parents are included figure out whether “peer mediators” need adult conflict resolution professionals involved so there isn’t a power imbalance. I recently had a case where parents wanted to be involved and a school said no.

·         Figure out what a “resolution” culture is in a school environment and create promotional programs which can be used to support the effort amongst the school body.

·         Expand individual school efforts into area, regional, and national level efforts.

·         Find access to funds, establish budgets, go for donations, grants, etc. find willing sponsors and other donors.

·         Establish a set of metrics to measure success, develop lessons learned, and highlight development of these programs.

·         As appropriate incorporate programs which allow youth to increase their ability to sense tension and what they can do to deal with it.

·         Give more trust to our youth, they can do more.

Having been a parent to a really great set of kids I can vouch for the fact that our youth experiences a great deal of conflict even though they all mostly went to private schools, Punahou being one of those schools for our younger children.  Also, our children witnessed the conflict that takes place amongst adults and I’m sure these also left imprints on their minds. Where kids are exposed to much harsher environments, like gangs, witness crime, face peer pressure, constantly observe the use of drugs, and face the results of separation of parents, live in poverty, see the holly or bolly wood glamour and lavish lifestyles, what happens? They may very well think there is nothing but conflict. Conflict between rich and poor, between drug users, pushers, and those who abstain, between religious and non-religious, between races, between genders, healthy and those who suffer from chronic illnesses or are disabled, the over versus underachievers, one can go on and on. Rising expectations, growing gaps and divides between societies, ability to suffer and deliver violence, etc.

In many environments preventing, avoiding, resolving conflict is not just an option, it is a must. The more we engage youth during their formative years they will have the capacity to expand a resolution culture through their communities as adults. Who knows, some of the competitive attitudes which now exist may turn into collaboration. Wouldn’t that be great?

Clients with attorneys make for interesting situations in negotiations. Who’s in control? Who’s driving the strategy? Who determines what’s in the “best interest of the client”? Who’s responsible for preparation of client positions?  Who makes the decisions? One answer to the above questions is it depends. It become messy, ambiguous, and downright frustrating when the truth becomes known when a client says “whatever you say” to their attorney. Sometimes that happens because of a lack of sophistication of a client, at other times emotions overcome a client, at other times it is because iffy expectations are not only created but fostered. Of course there are times when a clients view of “whatever you say” is the right response because this forces the other side to either capitulate or make further concessions. For a mediator this makes for difficult choices and even judgments.

For example in an agreement requiring ADR the first step is mediation involving somewhat complex legal issues boils down to money. The complaining attorney and their client comes in without a figure because they have “not yet done enough discovery”. Why agree to mediation? Time is taken to compute a figure. The calculation is flawed. Changes are made to underlying assumptions to get the number to the same figure. The number becomes an unwavering position and the range between the money asked for, versus offered, and is too much of a gap to bridge between the parties. Impasse is reached and what’s heard from the client is, “whatever you say”.

Best interest of the client? The legal issues involved are overwhelming for the client to understand, but money on the table versus the time and cost of going forward? You almost know the issue will be settled on the court house steps. Happy Thanksgiving! Of course this is the perfect place for “it depends”. Mediator strategies in situations like this are part of an art in closing a deal but not every mediator can do that. Mediation gives clients choice and it's up to them to utilize it or give it up.

The objective of this blog entry is to share with colleagues and the public some views on mediators and “judgments” they make in facilitative (where the mediator serves as the conduit towards agreement by basically controlling only the process and limits substance to such means as for example reality testing or mediator suggestions) mediations.

What kind of role does a mediators judgment have in moving to resolution or to impasse? Wait a minute mediators are not supposed to make judgments are they? First, let me clarify that I don’t mean the type of judgment rendered by a judge nor a statement asserting a mediators opinion. The judgment I’m discussing is more subtle. It could be as seemingly innocuous as calling a break or separating the parties into separate caucuses. Or it could be a decision to move the process towards closing in on an agreement. Mediators do make these and other judgments which have significant if not profound impacts on reaching resolution or resulting in impasse.

In a Teen Conflict episode for Hawaii Community Television our actors recount a mediation in which the aggressor basically slaps another teen who does not respond, not realizing the other teen had a medical predicament. Much later the aggressors guardian asks for mediation because her teen is getting egged on to finish the fight. During opening statements the aggressors parent states a desire to settle this matter peacefully. The victims parents reveal just how deadly another assault could be. The mediator then asks to speak separately to the teens because in his judgment the path to agreement was clear. He is somewhat assertive on the path forward. Possible results were:

·         Agreement by the teens to declare their conflict over

·         Say no

I’m not going to reveal the results of our story as the primary purpose is to provide an example of a judgment mediators make. In this case the mediator makes a judgment the teens are going to agree to declare their conflict over.

Mediators often summarize, reflect (repeat back not only the words but the emotions), reframing (restate what a party has said but hopefully simplifying what has been stated or perhaps without the emotion) or provide a problem statement (party A’s issues are and needs ____ to resolve, while party B’s issues are …) mediators get involved in making judgments about what they sense is a direction, status, timing of, or potential resolution to a conflict. As every case is different, in another teen conflict the mediator made a judgment parents only really wanted mediation as forum with the mediator to basically just be there as they resolve their issues in direct conversation, which turned out to be the right judgment despite some early posturing which looked like it might result in a physical confrontation. And, as one of my panel members points out in this episode mediators do overstep their roles and engage in conflict behaviors themselves.

Understanding not only the situation but the people themselves in a conflict is a key skill mediators must develop and nurture.

Educating, promoting and demonstrating conflict resolution
is a key component of any marketing strategy for those of us
who want to promote choice and the means by which to avoid costly and very time
consuming litigation. The model my colleagues and I have
chosen is to do so through is video. So, what are we doing
and how are we doing?
Our outlet is Hawaii Community Television. In Hawaii we are
fortunate enough to have access to production and equipment
facilities to produce our series so long as we are working
under the auspices of a non-profit. Fortunately we have our
local chapter of ACR and the Mediaiton Center of the
Pacific, Inc.  Our ability to produce would be impossible
without volunteers, who although they have day jobs also
find the time to participate in our episodes. Our format is
a vignette, a story, with volunteer actors playing the roles
of people finding themsleves in conflict as well as the
professional mediators, facilitators, negotiators acting as
third party intermediaries. Scripts are submitted and
suplemented with a bit of drama and entertainment augmented
by the improvisation of the actors themsleves. Our panel
consist of professionals in their field- attorneys,
mediators, facilitators, human resource personnel. The
enthusiasm of the volunteers is contagious and keeps me as
the producer and panel moderator going.  Most of the video
filming and editing is night work and the learning curve is
fairly steep.  In addition we’re working on a web page to
provide supplemental information on what we’re doing and
to give due recognition to our volunteers as we can’t do
very much of that in the videos.
We all learn from each episode and each other. One thing you
find out is to be patient and perseverant.  The inspiration
comes from the  potential audience which can be reached
through this outreach mechanism. We don’t do a how to but
we do touch upon a lot of issues thorugh the opinions
provided by the panel members which are of course, strictly
their own. We hope we can sustain this effort by being on at
the same time each week.  We run one episode each month. In
November the episode deals with voluntary mediation using a
teen conflict as the basis. In December Olelo will run
mandatory mediation and competitive or distributive
negotiation in small claims court. In January facilitation
is highlighted through a story about a facilitation on a
communjity issue. In Fevbruary we turn to the corporate
enviornment and launch a discussion about a workplace team
finding itself in chaotic conflict and we start a
disscussion about resolution.  We are producing an episode
about a disability claim in mediation and more scripts are
in the works for later next year.
We always welcome feedback so if you have ideas or want
to share what is available to inform, promote, and
demonstrate choice in dealing with conlfict please don’t
hesitate to send us your inputs. Mahalo and aloha from
paradise

For those of you with access to Hawaii's Community Television Olelo here's the schedule for the first two episodes of our series:

   11/21/09      7:30 pm  Sat      TEAC          Avoiding, Preventing, Resolving Conflict: Voluntary Mediation Team Con, Episode 1

   11/28/09      7:30 pm  Sat      TEAC          Avoiding, Preventing, Resolving Conflict: Voluntary Mediation Team Con, Episode 1

    12/5/09      7:30 pm  Sat      TEAC          Avoiding, Preventing, Resolving Conflict: Mandatory Mediation Small Cl, Episode 2

   12/12/09      7:30 pm  Sat      TEAC          Avoiding, Preventing, Resolving Conflict: Mandatory Mediation Small Cl, Episode 2

   12/19/09      7:30 pm  Sat      TEAC          Avoiding, Preventing, Resolving Conflict: Mandatory Mediation Small Cl, Episode 2

   12/26/09      7:30 pm  Sat      TEAC          Avoiding, Preventing, Resolving Conflict: Mandatory Mediation Small Cl, Episode 2

For those without access to the channel we'll provide directions for access after the episodes stop running and are made available in the archives.

Mahalo and feedback always welcome.