Supporting Roles in Mediation

Clients can and do bring attorneys to mediations or vice versa. Yes some attorneys are very supportive of mediation and work hard with their clients to reach resolution. In other cases help comes not just from attorneys but from clients family members who participate in a mediation session. Their role may range in scope from just being initiators of a mediation effort to highly transformative roles during a mediation. Let me give you an example of the roles played by these folks in a teen conflict.

Imagine two teens having a fight in school. Not much of a fight really, the aggressor confronts another teen, loses control, and slugs the other teen, then walks away. A significant amount of time passes but during that time the aggressor keeps getting egged to do more. Somehow the aggressor’s guardian picks up on the brewing issue and decides to request a mediation with the victim and his parents.  At the mediation she opens by stating she’s asked for the mediation because she’s aware of this situation and wants to prevent a second assault. This opening statement set a very positive tone for the mediation which followed.

It was hard to know what position the victim’s parents would take on his situation. They could respond by taking a hard line, getting a restraining order, going to the school authorities and asking for their intercession, or even threatening their own reaction against the aggressor and the guardian. However, they do not take this stance. Instead the victims Mom simply states she agrees with the Guardians objective and later the Father takes a very understanding position and simply points out to the aggressor the potential consequences should a repeat assault takes place, asks the aggressor to put on his, the father's shoes, and connects with the aggressor who's attitude is transformed from aggressor to, "wow, I got it."

These types of scenarios do occur and demonstrate the positive supportive role that participants can and do play in a mediation. Now there are excellent examples which can be provided which demonstrate the negative role which participants can play in a mediation but for this entry I will stick with the positive role. 

Sometimes it is very unclear why someone brings others to a mediation and sometimes it is a complete surprise to both the clients and mediator.  At such point the parties have to decide whether or not to allow the participation of the unexpected participant and on some occasions it is clear unexpected participant cannot participate in a mediation. Experienced mediators know how to handle such situations and keep the mediation on track.