Sorry but I'm skeptical
Sorry but I’m skeptical
Whenever somebody says why get a mediator when it’s just problem solving and we do it every day I become somewhat skeptical. I just heard that in a seminar on issues dealing with ageing and the comment was made with reference to ethics committees in hospitals. I will accept that physicians, social workers, and attorneys acting as committee members are highly learned individuals however they are not above being awful mediators. Some physicians just don’t have good bedside manners. Others are just plain arrogant and seemingly uncaring. Some attorneys just can’t get over advocacy. Are social workers trained in mediation? I’m thrilled hospitals have ethics committees which have as a function to listen to both sides and provide recommendations. And, I’m sure within the framework of what they were set up to do they do a great job but there are a few issues.
Why isn’t there a mediator on this committee? Is this committee really neutral? Who are they there to protect? Do recommendations they have issued reach the level of mutual agreement? Do the sides have choice and do they reach agreement on who will “mediate” their case? I don’t know but I will certainly endeavor to find out. But making statements like mediation is nothing more than problem solving which everyone uses every day is oversimplifying what mediation is all about and it continues to confuse people about the value mediators bring to conflict resolution.
In the meantime keep in mind the following points made at the seminar which are always useful when an elder person goes into an institution:
· Have an advance directive in the hands of the institution.
· Beware of power imbalances where an elder person is asked to make decision they can no longer make on their own – they may need an advocate – understand how a family member can ascend into the role of advocate.
· Understand what the process will be if a conflict arises – ethics committee or something else? What choices do you have?
None of us like the prospects of entering ourselves as elders or family members placing an elder into an institution but like in anything else dealing with organizations you have to be the best prepared person in the room in these types of discussions. Educate yourself.
