I don’t know about your community but voluntary mediation is still relatively underutilized in the context of preventing, avoiding, and resolving conflict. We’re certainly short of being a resolution culture. Instead according to some commentators we’re a litigious culture deferring choice to others than just between opponents. If we agree we need to turn things around then we’re probably talking in turns of generations and a good place to start is with youth and the way they view the world.  Amongst the youth there’s a small group in our schools who might hold a promise towards a resolution culture.

In Hawaii we call teens involved in mediation at their schools “peer mediators”. These dedicated individuals and their faculty mentors can become ambassadors for preventing, avoiding, and resolving conflicts amongst their peers.

In 2008 we featured peer mediators in our ACR Conflict Resolution Day celebration in Honolulu. The video we produced for Hawaii’s Olelo Community Television is available at http://www.olelo.org/whatson_web.htm (click on education and youth and scroll down to (Conflict Resolution Day: Ep - 1 Conflict Resolution Day Celebration 2008)) (in addition our program on Teen Conflict is also listed (Avoiding, Preventing, Resolving Conflict: Ep - 1 Voluntary Mediation Team Conflict (sorry for the misspelling of Teen)). Between these two episodes you can start to get an idea about what peer mediators do and how parents can help avoid and prevent conflict.

It is my understanding that peer mediation, as it exists, has received mixed reviews and it has not spread to the degree initiators of the programs have hoped[1]. The way I read the commentary is that peer mediators are limited to dealing with very limited issues and that troubled teens can effectively manipulate the processes or live under the radar until they explode. I think that raise the question whether it is beyond the limits of the programs and the teens involved to expand the reach of mediation into prevention and avoidance. As in my own estimation and experience with my own kids adults tend to underestimate the capacity of youth I do not agree we cannot do better with peer mediators. But our efforts have to reach out not only to the practitioners but also the school body and there we can do a tremendous amount more, it’s a priority,capacity and developmental challenge.

In moving the field forward we have to refocus a lot of our efforts in developing a resolution culture amongst our youth. If we do this the next adult generation is going to have a much greater readiness to adopt avoiding, preventing, resolving conflict in their adult lives by exercising the choice available in mediation, facilitation, and assisted negotiation. The challenge is in revitalizing peer mediation programs where they exist, expanding them more broadly and moving towards the next generation of processes for use by our youth. Where are the champions to support this cause. Just to be ridiculously simple, does anyone know of a single “celebrity” with influence on the opinion of our yout who’s championing a resolution culture? Are there efforts to define what a resolution culture even means in terms our youth can understand?

Here are my thoughts on steps which can be taken.

·         Our kids are steeped in “media” (be it tv, video, social media, internet, web games, etc.). Create space in these media, in an entertaining way, by which to attract youth to collaborate.

·         If it isn’t already expand training on preventing, avoiding, resolving conflict to the, you get “credit” level with additional credit for participation as a peer mediator.

·         Consider expanding the program to include parents or guardians. When parents are included figure out whether “peer mediators” need adult conflict resolution professionals involved so there isn’t a power imbalance. I recently had a case where parents wanted to be involved and a school said no.

·         Figure out what a “resolution” culture is in a school environment and create promotional programs which can be used to support the effort amongst the school body.

·         Expand individual school efforts into area, regional, and national level efforts.

·         Find access to funds, establish budgets, go for donations, grants, etc. find willing sponsors and other donors.

·         Establish a set of metrics to measure success, develop lessons learned, and highlight development of these programs.

·         As appropriate incorporate programs which allow youth to increase their ability to sense tension and what they can do to deal with it.

·         Give more trust to our youth, they can do more.

Having been a parent to a really great set of kids I can vouch for the fact that our youth experiences a great deal of conflict even though they all mostly went to private schools, Punahou being one of those schools for our younger children.  Also, our children witnessed the conflict that takes place amongst adults and I’m sure these also left imprints on their minds. Where kids are exposed to much harsher environments, like gangs, witness crime, face peer pressure, constantly observe the use of drugs, and face the results of separation of parents, live in poverty, see the holly or bolly wood glamour and lavish lifestyles, what happens? They may very well think there is nothing but conflict. Conflict between rich and poor, between drug users, pushers, and those who abstain, between religious and non-religious, between races, between genders, healthy and those who suffer from chronic illnesses or are disabled, the over versus underachievers, one can go on and on. Rising expectations, growing gaps and divides between societies, ability to suffer and deliver violence, etc.

In many environments preventing, avoiding, resolving conflict is not just an option, it is a must. The more we engage youth during their formative years they will have the capacity to expand a resolution culture through their communities as adults. Who knows, some of the competitive attitudes which now exist may turn into collaboration. Wouldn’t that be great?