Although each case is unique, over time and cases, a mediator encounters similar issues, which, in my experience include:

·         Anger by one parent towards the other or between both of them which significantly taints a negotiation and detrimentally impacts agreement on reaching a child parenting plan.

·         A loss of control over the way the other parent views a child’s needs. An example is sports versus other activities.  Even more serious are issues over the differences in the child’s environment when with the other, who a child may be left with or even the presence of people, like a new significant other for the other parent.

·         The view of grandparents or others with whom, when they were a twosome, were very friendly versus the relationship now existing when the two parents are separated.  At times those former relationships endure and both parents and the child benefit or they become distressing if not destructive thereby impacting a child.

·         The role of a child in decision making not only about themselves but also with regards to the parents. For example,

Child: “Daddy I want to stay with you one more night. Can I?”

Dad: “Ask your mommy and if she says it’s ok you can.”

Mom: “Why is Dad passing the buck, the answer is no.”

Or

Child: “I don’t want to stay with …”

Mom: “ I understand how you feel and here’s what we’ll do …”

Later, a Disagreeing Dad: “I can’t believe you did that you $%&^.”

It’s sad when a parenting plan falls apart because of any single or combination of the above issues become impasse driving demands by one parent of another unwilling parent. Finding no easy answers results in either giving up by the parents or in a lot of time dealing with each of the issues and resolving each problem, one at a time. It does become a lengthy process. At times resolution follows or impasse continues to the court house steps, trial, and into the future until it boils over yet again. “Best interest of the child”?