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Mediate with LH, LLC
apologies- forgiveness- and Conflict Resolution
Had an opportunity to capture on video a two part interactive presentation on apologies and forgiveness given by one of our leading ADR practitioner’s – Lou Chang. One thing I have learned is that you can’t really capture what Lou and the audience (of over 50 people) said while producing the video. However, since it will take about two months to edit the video plus commentary – it’s just worthwhile to consider the power of apologies and forgiveness in conflict or dispute situations. One aspect of the presentation which was particularly moving was a video about South Africa and their reconciliation program. If you can check and see what happened in some of those situations captured on video. The one we saw had to do with a black police officer who belonged to what can most kindly be described as a professional entrapment and killing squad – black youth were entrapped into radicalism – provided weapons – then killed – murdered! Focusing only on one point – his meeting with mothers of the teens killed – is an amazing interplay of condemnation – anger – and forgiveness all rolled into a dialogue which takes place in a peaceful setting. There is also a display of apology by the officer - interplayed with an attempt to provide some justification – I had to do it – what choice did I have – we’ve heard that before and will continue to hear it. Lou provided examples of statements sounding in apology as well as those which were more convincing – even compelling.
Tomes have been written about apologies – forgiveness – yet we so often forget the power of these interrelated means of communicating – sometimes even subsume expressing these feelings for a variety of reasons. And, we shouldn’t forget that there is additional power linked to spiritual notions driving apologies and forgiveness when we look beyond ourselves and to our common humanity – however realizing it’s an individual notion which may or may not be reciprocated.
Bottom line – apology and forgiveness can be a source for avoiding, preventing, and resolving conflict – comes from within us – and like any other communications skills – can be learned and applied successfully. We’ll return to this subject upon conclusion of producing the video and subsequent commentary.
